I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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