Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
