She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
