Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
