Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
time to smoke my breakfast
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
