remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
