i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
