Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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