Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
