Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Your dad touched me again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
