The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
