Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
