"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
