as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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