oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize