oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize