we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
