I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
