at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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