Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
