After last night, I could never be a politician.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
