So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
