There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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