I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
