Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize