Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
