I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize