that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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