even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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