ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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