Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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