dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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