good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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