Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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