it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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