not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
