capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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