Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
