with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
