What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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