He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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