OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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