I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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