honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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