I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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