If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
