Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize