9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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