"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize