I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
