sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize