Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
