Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I could make wine with my vomit
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize