Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
