You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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