I can tuck mytits in my pants
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
