Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
All I want is dick and wine.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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