it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
