How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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