I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
