Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
