There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
