Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
